well after all this time i have finally decided to take the jump and move to america for a few months…..
Recently I have been struggling with my purpose here in the UK. I have my own house, a good job, and a handful of very good friends, but I feel that apart from my friends there is no purpose to my life. I have my own house which is a place I sleep but I have no connection to, I have a job that keeps me busy but not enthusiastic, I just feel like I have all these things just to say that I actually have them, but they mean nothing to me.
So I have finally taken the plunge and decided to go travelling america more 3 months. its something I have always wanted to do, and something I need to do.
I have recently got myself into a bad situation of playing on the gamblers in the pubs and drinking to much, all because I’m bored. I need something to get me out of this rut, and the only thing I can think of is a new life, something away from what I know, something completely new, and I am hoping that spending some time in the USA will give me the chance to start a new life, and re invent myself, be who I really want to be, and not having to pretend to fit in with the society of where I am now.
either way I will keep you updated
Sorry it’s been so long but just haven’t been in the right frame of mind to type. It’s not the case that I’ve been in a bad place or anything all though I still have my bad days, but it’s more of a case that everything has been going well. Work is going great, I have some really good friends who are all ways there for me, and life in general is looking up.
I just have so much more to get up and do that I no longer have as much time to sit down and type, but I really do miss blogging. Blogging has been one of the main things that got me through the hard times, along with a couple of very good friends who I love tremendously. But I thought it’s about time I start typing again, it’s one of the only times I feel I can really speak my mind and not be judged or criticized. It’s like being able to stand up and do ‘my life’ sort of play in front of a huge ordinance but not worry about all the hassle you’ll get at home or work, it’s just like minded people reading your life, no judgment, no hatered, yeah you may every so often get a couple of bad comments but those people…… hell, who cares.
So to all who are worried about putting their lives online, don’t worry, there are thousands of people who want to read your thoughts, don’t be scared just do it. And hay, you may get some bad comments, but screw them, they’re the idiots, ignore them and love your life.
Till next time.
It’s been a long time now since I did my last post.
I’ve now been on my anti depresents since October last year, and everything has been going well. Up untill today, I’m not feeling bad, but I’m just in a state of oh well. I still have a good job, good money, but just no real life apart from two very close friends.
I need something to kick start my life again, but am yet to find what that is yet.
Any way will be back in a couple of days for a proper update.
This is one I started a while ago, but thought it was a good chance to finish post it
Love would always be around the corner, your hair would always be perfect, and you would always have that perfect line or stare. You could dodge a bullet, or drive a car off a cliff and still get out without a bruise. you could get attacked and avenge your culprit, and the world would love you.
But unfortunately life is not like a movie or a comic book, we fall and get hurt, we love and get heartbroken, someone you love gets hurt, and there is no one to help them.
This is where real hero’s are missing, not the ones who fly around in cape’s, or shoot fire from there eyes, but the ones who see someone in distress and actually stand up to the situation and say, this in’t right, those are the real hero’s.
They don’t just look at the world and think yeah I can put up with that, They turn around and say, NO THIS IS NOT RIGHT, why can’t there be more people like that.
I think there are to many people worrying about what other people think about them. And wanting that hero to save them.
I think they’re more worried about the people that are going to save them than the people already doing the saving.
I always wanted to be that hero, and on many occasions I have tried, but unfortunately I haven’t got any appreciation, but I guess that is the work of a hero, never looking at ones own life, but taking the world off everyone else’s shoulders and putting it on mine.
That’s how my mind feels right now, I have all sorts of things going through my mind none stop 24/7, I mean my mind never turns off, constantly going from scenario to scenario. all of my problems, my friends problems, and the whole world’s problems, none stop, which I think is my cause of depression and insomnia.
So I have finnaly booked a appointment with my quack, and hopefully they can sort me out, and I can become the super hero I was meant to be. Still with the awesome powers, and the ability to save the world, but without the Professor X style of hearing everyone at the same time.
It’s been a while since I did my last post.
In all fairness, I haven’t been in the best of places.
As some of you who follow my blog may know, I am not always the happiest of people, and recently I have felt very down. I feel that I don’t seem to be living a life, more a case of I seem to be just going through the motions. I do the same job day in, day out. I have no real friends that I can reallly say that if I rang them up they would come to my aid. It reminds me of one of my favorite songs that I have mentioned in past post by NIN (nine inch nail) every day is exactly the same. This is how i’m feeling at the moment, and it drives me insane, something needs to change, and maybe something I found may just fix that.
I have applied to allot of agencies in the USA to try and get some sort of work out there, but usually the price they charge for the H2B VISA application is outrages, but the other day I was contacted by a group who supplied the VISA that’s very good price and supplied the sort of work I was looking for, so I applied.
The rest of the story is still untold at the moment, but hopefully I will be seeing allot of you in the great land of opportunity very soon.
Mikle Out. X
Well it’s been a frantic week at work, so much has been going on. There have been loads of work going on at work at the moment, both incoming at outgoing, which has been extremely hard week, for everybody.
As per usual, I haven’t been sleeping, and just like normal, I just keep plodding on. But the sleep has been even worse than usual recently, I don’t know why but it has, and it must be showing. I had already booked next Wednesday off work as a lieu day, but my manager came up to me the other day and said take the Thursday off because I look run down. He asked me if everything wes OK, and I said Yeah everything was fine, whilst I was trying to hold back the tears and wanted to say, no, I can’t cope with life at the moment,
I don’t realy know the perpose of this blog at the moment, but just needed to type and vent some thoughts.
Thanks for reading, if you did, and let me know if any of you feel the same way, maybe we can help each other out.
Art by angelswar
Well another interesting night down the pub. Started off dull, but the music (as cheesy as it was) started flowing, and I have now just added my name to the pub as one of the builders by helping install a new make shift umbrella to shelter us from the sun/rain, being the unpredictable country this is.
On another note, I have finally worked out a saving Skeem to get over to the USA next year for VidCon. The only downfall is that it means only 1 night a week drinking. Its gonna be hard but well worth it.
On an even better note, I have just heard for the last hour, the music is gonna be… Wait for it…. Pop punk, hell yeah, some blink, abit of sum 41, roll on the good old days.
Anyway untill next time……
P.S sorry no pictures this time but the windows phone version of WordPress is not the easiest to negotiate.